Posted by: perchancetodream | September 29, 2009


No, not that sort – with the green pea, head-turning, speaking in tongues (although I admit sometimes being able to lose it THAT much sounds like relief)….but the 9/10th of the law type.

We are now in physical possession of our finalized and notarized home study (YAY!).  I picked it up Friday and I think that our SW was even more relieved to get rid of it than I was to retrieve it.  She talked a lot about how this is a milestone, etc….and yes, she’s probably right.  If I didn’t have this mountain of dossier and I-800A materials on my desk at the moment, it would be easier to celebrate but yes, I suppose it is.

In an immediate sense it means we can now submit our I-800A.  Once I have it completed.  I’m close to it and then we need to have it notarized.  But I keep hearing that the USCIS is kicking things back at an alarming rate – everyone, it seems, has something wrong with their forms (could it be, perhaps, that their incompressible directions are…incomprehensible? And this from someone who has navigated two legal immigrations).  And I fear that what will be sent back are some UK documents that are going to be near to impossible to get verification of.

But I did let her message sink in.  And on the way home I detoured and allowed myself to do something that I haven’t been able to do in years: walk through the children’s clothing section of a store.  It was actually difficult to put one foot in front of the other.  My M.O. over the past few decades has been to circumvent all areas of children’s shopping so forcing myself to wade into it was a bit bizarre.

But once I was in, it was like getting used to being in a cold pool.  Uncomfortable but warming up.  I knew that I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on something – the purchase was more emotional than practical.  Still, when looking at sizes, I had to think that we’ve requested a girl up to the age of 4 but children coming from orphanages tend to be small for their ages.  I went with a 4T though because kids will always grow into things.  The first thing my eyes fell on was a dusty rose knit dress.  It was absolutely adorable but….what if we bring the child home in summer? The dress looked awfully hot.  And so I passed on it and settled on a legging set: the top in brown with pink hearts and a hood (I love hoods) and the leggings in a leopard print pattern using pink hearts (okay, I know I’m not doing a great job of describing it here).

It’s hung in the back of my closet where, even in the best of cases,  it will stay for a long time.  But I know that it’s there.  And it represents hope in a more tangible way than anything has since our first positive pregnancy tests. It’s at least a step down the road.



  1. Congratulations on both fronts, those are two huge hurdles to overcome!

  2. I have serious chills now. So cool.

  3. Congratulations on the home study and for having the courage to go into the children’s section!

  4. Congratulations on the completion of your homestudy! And on your first purchase for your someday little girl. It will be such a wonderful feeling when you finally see her in it and remember choosing it for her without even know who she was.

    I had a onesie reading “Daddy’s Little Star” that I had planned to give to my husband to tell him I was pregnant from our first IVF. I was just so sure it would all work out that I too braved the usually-avoided children’s department and picked it out for him, even popped it in a gift bag. And then my numbers fell rapidly and it sat in a closet for a year and a half, until I put it on our adopted son for the first time for Father’s Day this year, and then, suddenly, it was more than worth the wait.

    Good luck with your next steps–may the wait go quickly now!

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