Posted by: perchancetodream | August 20, 2009

Winds of Change

The phone rang yesterday and it was our SW.  Usually this makes me nervous (because usually she calls when she’s realized that she doesn’t have some really complicated piece of information that means that we need to make multiple international calls to sort it out) and I held my breath when I heard her voice.  In reality though, she was calling to tell me that she’d finished the draft of our home study and was going to email it.

And that she did.  She actually did a pretty good job although it made me laugh in many places because she took direct quotes from our interviews and used them in somewhat odd ways.  It was interesting to see what she focused on and interesting to see what quotes she pulled from our recommendation letters (only some of which we saw before they were submitted).

So I feel good that we’re almost done with this piece of the puzzle.  In the meantime, I’m awaiting word from our placing agency that our application has been approved.  They keep saying “We can’t imagine that there is any reason it wouldn’t be” but…..that’s one of those foreboding things in movies that always means that something will go wrong.  “What could possibly be lurking in the basement?”

As a member of the mailing list for the placing agency’s “waiting children” e-mails, I had an interesting experience yesterday.  Hubby and I have agreed that there are some “minor” and, in some cases “correctable” special needs that we could deal with.  We actually had little problems filling out the list because we both agreed that if one of us had an issue with a medical condition we wouldn’t accept it.  So hubby, an avid hiker who wants to share that with his children, prefers that we not adopt a child who has mobility issues.  I’m a music writer (in part) and as we spend a great deal of time listening to music (live and recorded) I would prefer a child who doesn’t have hearing issues. And we’re both on board with those.

Yesterday I got a slew of videos from our placing agency.  The children ranged from those with down syndrome and other obvious disabilities to one little boy whose medical issues weren’t apparent.  And then there was a little girl.  Obviously bright (Okay, I don’t understand Bulgarian but the cries of “bravo” from the staff who were filming her in response to her answers to questions was pretty clear), charming, with a smile that would light up a room.  They then pulled her up and helped her walk across the room.  I don’t know what type of muscle issues she has but walking is obviously difficult for her although she could do it while holding onto something and it didn’t seem to deter her from getting around. But she probably wouldn’t make it up the side of a mountain.  Or ever a large hill. Not for a while anyhow.

In reality, it’s probably too soon for us to be “choosing” a child.  Our home study isn’t completed, we haven’t even filed our I-800A (to the US State Department) because we don’t have our home study.  Hell, our application hasn’t even been accepted from the placing agency. But it was an intense experience to finally look into the eyes of a little girl on a video and say “this could be our daughter”.


On a purely administration issue, I’ve (finally) gone through the blogroll on the left and updated the lists.  I deleted closed blogs, added a number of others that I’ve been following on Bloglines, and moved a ton of blogs from “infertility” to “parenting after infertility”.  I’m happy for all of my cyber-sisters who moved over.  Perhaps, as the nurse at my old clinic (and adoptive mother herself) once said “Most women who want a child usually end up with one, one way or another.” Amen!

Next up: A new format and header!



  1. wow. lots going on. Hurrah for the completion of you home study!!

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