Posted by: perchancetodream | April 8, 2009

Things to Ponder

Since I learned so much from the various blogs and boards I followed when undergoing infertility treatments, I’m not about to forget to utilize these tools to learn about the adoption process.  The only slight difference is that you never saw Dr. Celebrity or Dr. Ambitious popping into a forum to share their thoughts.  Many of the adoption boards DO have employees of the adoption agencies as members.  While I’m not really sure how I feel about that, it can be helpful.  And, at times, thought-provoking.

Yesterday, the coordinator of one of the agencies we’re considering posted that her agency had received a referral from Bulgaria for a 10 year-old girl.  Because of the child’s age, the referral was MUCH quicker than normal and the coordinator also made an interesting comment about how, in Bulgaria, the kids are taught to look forward to adoption – they’re told that if they wait, their forever families will find them.

On one hand, I love the idea that the kids are anticipating their adoptions – that they’re taught that this is a positive change and something to be desired.  On the other hand, what must a child think as they’re waiting and waiting and waiting?

I love the idea of adopting an older child.  If circumstances were different, I’d consider adopting two kids, one perhaps older than the other. But if we have one chance at a child……well, by requesting a child around the age of 3 we’re already missing out on the joys of babyhood – all the experiences we wanted to have and share.  We’re going to miss out on the chance to make a child feel loved and secure from infanthood. We’re going to have to make up for lost time. We’ve missed out on so much already.  I don’t want to miss out on more.

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