Posted by: perchancetodream | March 5, 2009

A Brand New Day

While there has, again, been no movement on the adoption front….I haven’t checked out – I’ve been following mailing lists, answering emails from agencies and sending off questions – but a decision hasn’t been made because I’ve been waiting for other parts of my life to shake out.  And they more or less have.

I took my current job last year in part because of a deep passion for the product the company produces.  This truly is the only job in the country that could truly blend my career and my passion.  And as hubby was losing his mind in the Big City, we knew we’d have to leave anyhow.  Although I had some reservations, I knew that I HAD to try this job or I would forever second-guess myself.

And try it I have.  I’m not going to bad mouth the company.  What they produce is fantastic.  I just can’t work here.  My stress level over the last 9 months has been extraordinary.  Even when I haven’t thought I was stressed, Hubby and a few very close friends have remarked on it.  And I know from how exhuasted I’ve been and how little I’ve actually had the energy to accomplish outside work, that I was being dragged down by the dysfunctionality of the inner workings here.

Part of what’s held me together has been my freelance work for my previous company. It kept us financially afloat while hubby was looking for a job and it gave me a sane forum to work in, which I deeply needed while I navigated the total insanity of my new company.

Throughout this process, I’ve floated the idea to my old boss that I should telecommute.  The idea obviously terrified her.  She wasn’t ready for a department head to be half-way across the country and while I didn’t agree with her, I couldn’t argue.  Last week, I was on a conference call with her and some board members.  It was one of those calls where the ideas were flying around, each of us building on each other’s.  The next day she emailed me and said that she wanted to talk to find out if I was still willing to commute.

I told her that I was, she floated it by the powers that be and we talked last night and I accepted my old position back.

Not only does this mean a more stress-free (but no less productive) job but it means a higher salary, double the amount of vacation, holiday time and a reinstatement of all of my old benefits which were abundant and missing from the small family-owned company I’m working for now. It means that once hubby learns all he can at his current job that we can move.  Anywhere we want and I’ll be assured of having a good and stable job.

It also means a reinstatement of the health insurance that I’ve been paying $700/month for on COBRA. You know…the one that covers unlimited IUIs!?!

On that note, I have to say that it’s telling that both hubby and one of my best friends came to that realization before I did. And at 43 1/2 now…..I’m thinking that I should pay attention to that. We’ve made a plan to move on and although I desperately want a biological child with hubby, I don’t think it’s going to happen.  And our resources need to be focused elsewhere.

I won’t be starting the new/old job for a few months anyhow. I need to see a major project through here and I need to give a month’s notice.  There are also other issues like accrued vacation time and a commission check that I won’t receive until April 1.  To sum up the craziness here I found out that I’m the first employee EVER to have a written contract.  And the first to ever ask about what happens to accrued vacation time were I to leave.  In the past, people either left and didn’t give it a thought or left in such tumultuous circumstances that I think they did’t care – they just wanted to be free.

And I do feel a weight off my shoulders.  Notice-giving is going to be hard as my current bosses are NOT going to take it well.  AT ALL.  And they’re going to try to make me feel as guilty and horrible as they can.  I need to steal myself.

But now that that’s taken care of, we can start focusing on the rest of our lives.  I can get caught up on the emails that have been languishing in my box and other projects that have been put indefinitely on hold.  I can start figuring out how I’m going to deal with the isolation that scares me about telecommuting and how I’m not going to turn into a complete couch potato.  Everything has it’s challeges.  But for the moment, I’m really happy…..



  1. I was hoping this was the news! Congratulations! And whew! I’m so happy for you, it must feel like a million pounds off your shoulders.

  2. Yay! I’m glad to hear things are working out more or less.

  3. WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad to have you “back” in my life!

  4. While it will be hard to tell them you are leaving, it sounds like it is the best thing for you. Since it is a good move for you, it really is a good thing for them too. Now they can find someone who wants to work in that type of environment. Congrats on working out the telecommuting position. I hope it all works out. Good luck on the adoption too.

  5. What great news! Congratulations. Be strong – don’t let those current bosses of yours “should” on you. You know, “you should have done this, you should have done that, you should feel this way” That’s just their way of not dealing with their own behavior. 😛

  6. Oooh. But I really wanted to visit you in your present city! The changes sound good, though. Congrats!

  7. Congrats! Sounds liike good changes ahead!

  8. While you mentioned the telecommuting thing, it didn’t fully resonate until I read this blog entry. I’m SOOOOOO happy and excited for you.

  9. Congratulations, that sounds like a dream come true. How exciting!

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