Posted by: perchancetodream | January 8, 2009

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

CD -?

And so we wait for another cycle to begin.

I have the LARGE box of Repronex so that I can do my 6 vials twice a day.

I have my HCG.

I have my progesterone.

I have my syringes and needles (the right sizes this time).

Yesterday I got my Prednisone and Heparin.

Now all I need is my period.

Unlike my old clinic, my current one is closed on weekends.  That means that if my period shows up by 7pm tonight, I go in tomorrow.  If it starts before 7pm tomorrow night, they squeeze me in sometime during the day. If it starts afterwards, I’m in on Monday.  I know that it’s imminant and normally I’d be hoping for a weekend start and the ultrasound/bloods on Monday.

BUT…..if it starts today, tomorrow morning will be chaos as hubby has a job interview he needs the car for.  And if it starts during the day, it will be worse because he’ll have the car and I’ll have to hope that the clinic can fit me in once he’s done and hopefully at some time resembling my lunch hour so I don’t have to go through a huge song and dance with work.

So?  You ask.  Starting over the weekend is good right?  Well……I’m looking at the calendar.  Looking obsessively actually.  And two days are jumping out at me.  January 20th and January 31st.  The first is not only inauguration day but the day of a much-begged for doctor’s appt for hubby in which he needs a prescription written – it’s an appointment he can’t miss and would be unable to reschedule.

The 31st is the day that our current insurance is meant to run out.

There now seems to be no way that I’ll be able to end this coming cycle at my clinic.  I’ll be able to start, have the IUI (back-to-back we’re aiming for) and maybe even the 7-day progesterone check.  But not the beta. I’m going to have to rely on a whole bunch of HPTs and have the name of an OB who takes my TN insurance standing by.

I’m going to have to keep this info from my clinic until the last possible moment.  I’ve told them that my insurance will expire but I’m sure none of them are thinking it through to that level.

In an absolutely perfect universe, hubby will get the job for a decent salary (and love it) and either he’ll have amazing insurance or we’ll be able to justify one more month of COBRA. But I’m not sure I’m living in that universe. As usual only time will tell.

I realize that this also probably means that we ARE indeed facing the end of our fertility options.  (The only thing that would change is if we move back to NY and I get my old insurance back but even then, I’m really on the outer reaches of time at 43). Honestly, I haven’t thought much about what is going to happen come February.  I’ve spent most of my adult life figuring that I couldn’t get pregnant but now of course I can’t just turn my mind backwards and take that for granted anymore. Now it’s going to hurt to have to accept that. And further plans will need to be put into place.  I’m not sure yet what those plans will be.  Certainly, we’ll need to take some time first to sort other areas of our lives out. But then we will head down another path to another road. I wish I could just plug “baby” into my GPS and let it take me there.

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Responses

  1. Um, if you get those GPS coordinates will you let me know?

    *sigh* I wish we lived in that universe — the one where we were like Australia and treatments were covered…

    I truly hope that hubby gets that job — and LOVES it — and that the insurance rocks.

    Fingers crossed,

    and toes too,

    Pam


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