Posted by: perchancetodream | November 26, 2008

Happy Pre-Thanksgiving

5dpiui

I can’t help but compare this year to last year.  Last year, I was pregnant for the first time – about 6 weeks on Thanksgiving.  I was in a lot of pain so we went to the clinic the next day and the doctor said she thought we were carrying triplets.  Two days later my doctor said no, just one but was dismayed not to see a heartbeat.  We later did see one but the pregnacy ended at 10 weeks.

This year, as I wait for my new clinic to call with the results of my progesterone bloodtest, I find that I’m amazed at home much time has flown.  We’ve moved states and jobs, made new friends, laughed and cried.  But it seems like no time has passed and nothing has really happened.

I’m quite blissfully detatched from this current TWW actually.  I have no real urge to buy tests. I’m having the usual progesterone-induced symptoms and have had a bit of cramping since the IUI but I’m not obsessively googling them to see if they might just mean something.

I’m not sure if all of this is down to the small odds of this working or to my utter fear of how we’d actually sort out the finances of having a child. Probably the former.  I’m tired of the highs and lows (not something I usally shy away from) and find myself getting slightly irritated with people asking me how I’m doing.

I even saw Dr. Ambitious in the hall this morning and when he asked, I replied “fine” and he just stood there, waiting for me to say something profound and telling; wanting more.  So I said “a bit twingy but fine” and just stared back.  That was all he was getting from me.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this any less than I ever have.  And if we get to the end of January without a positive outcome i’m sure that a minor/major breakdown is inevitable.  But I feel like it’s all out of my hands at this point – I’m not exercising or drinking, I’m taking my meds when I’m meant to but other than that, time will only tell.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving however you celebrate it!

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Well it is out of your hands… to a degree. Just take good care of yourself, take moments to relax, and what will be will be. It sounds like you have a good balance on things… Happy Thanksgiving.

  2. i’m glad to hear you’re not feeling too too anxious, i’m sending good thoughts your way!

  3. I found you through L&F from Stirrups. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. (((HUGS))) Good luck!

    Tammy
    http://www.twondra.blogspot.com


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: