Posted by: perchancetodream | October 7, 2008

Challenge

Today was part one of my Lupron challenge test.  I had SIX vials of blood drawn by Nurse Innept.  She probably isn’t really innept but, horrible for a nurse, she thinks that she is. “Have I gotten blood from you before,” she asked.  “Cause those veins look tough and I don’t like using butterflies.”  ARGH.  Anyhow, she got me the first time so I think it’s just insecurity.  But still.

Then I got the shot.  And then an ultrasound.  It was actually the first one I’ve had with Dr. Ambitious and wouldn’t you know he had the bloody monitor tilted away.  My last clinic let you see everything.  Once I’m in a cycle (assuming that happens), I’m gonna have to chat with him about that.  But everything looked fine, according to him.

Now I go back tomorrow for blood work round 2 to make sure that my levels rose appropriately and then next week I go back to discuss the results and have my re-culture to make sure that the e-coli is finally out of my system.

What fun.  I wish this made me feel like I was doing something.  But it doesn’t.  I watch the days pass on the calendar.  I know how close I’m getting to the end of January when all of my coverage will stop. Honestly, I haven’t had time nor energy to start looking into plan B.

I suppose that I might add that to my list of things to do while hubby is away visiting his family. Or I might not. My discomfort at spending so much time alone is throwing a red flag up to me.  I know that I’ll miss hubby a lot and that’s part of it.  And, for a variety of reasons (all related to time zones, calling card costs, etc) talking or even emailing will be difficult which makes it much, much worse.

But usually I love spending time alone.  As an only child, I did it a lot.  And there is something very freeing for me in spending time by myself, flitting from task to task.  I’m much more productive usually on my own.  If I come home and hubby is on the couch, I’m physically drawn to cocoon with him.  He works on me like the fabled tryptophan of turkey – he makes me relaxed and sleepy and happy and absolutely non-productive.

But it’s been a long time since I’ve had time to myself.  In NY, I had one night a week when hubby was out to get caught up – usually with friends and dinner and wine and usually with peesticksandstones, who I miss dearly.  This time I’m truly going to be by myself and while there are a lot of things I really do WANT to do and NEED to do…I’m just feeling edgy.  Which makes me feel like this time will be good for me.  To find my comfort at being with myself again.  Hopefully.

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Responses

  1. I hate waiting, my friend. Ugh.

  2. Awwww, missing you too. Big time!


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