Posted by: perchancetodream | September 3, 2008

Bleeker Street

I’ve been woefully bad about updating but there isn’t much going on.  Actually, Dr. Ambitious did redeem himself just before the long holiday weekend by calling me and agreeing that we COULD begin the next cycle as an IUI treatment.  Apparently because most patients here are paying out of pocket, they won’t start a cycle until they’re 100% sure that any cultures are negative. But since I’m in the opposite situation (very expensive COBRA insurance that covers IUI but that we’re only keeping for a few months), he understands that I need to get this show on the road.  So now I wait for my AF and we take it from there.

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve ever been less excited about a cycle although that will probably change with the first of my nightly shots. The antibiotics for the e coli basically ruined my weekend thanks to the resulting yeast infection. And hubby and I are both tired and ticked off at the job market here (and particularly at the blasted MD who didn’t bring him in for an interview even though the agency and HR person LOVED him because he’s apparently “over qualified.” Yeah, but he’s also probably the best, most proactive worker they ever would have had and “over qualified” doesn’t really help to pay the rent in this market!) and tired of the process.

And, for me anyhow, homesickness is setting in.  Although it’s always with me, it doesn’t get to me much in the evenings, particularly those cool enough to allow hubby and I to sit out on the back deck with the dog in the garden and the cat sitting in “her” foldable chair (I’m going to post a photo of this promise).  But it gets to me in the office.

Although my ex co-workers and I are pretty decent about emailing and chatting, it isn’t the same as coming in and finding out what everone is up to, how their love lives, moves, and children are doing.  Don’t get me wrong – my current coworkers are nice people.  They’re just (a) much younger than me and (b) too busy to talk about anything other than work.  We have no real offices so there are no doors to shut and I don’t think anyone would even think of having lunch together. I miss my old office like I’d miss a big, loving if disfunctional, family.

I know that we would have been gathered in each other’s offices discussing the conventions, which of our board members was in a hurricane’s path, and general chitchat. I miss that social aspect as much as I miss my quiet peaceful (dark!) office that used to draw me in early in the morning simply because it was a place I could gather my thoughts and relax. I’ve been coming in early in my current job (adding to my already overly-long workday) simply because the time between 8.30-9 is the only time I get to myself.  But it isn’t the same.

Hubby and I spoke briefly this weekend of the fact that we probably won’t end up here.  On one hand that’s fine and there is a corner in Northern Michigan that we both yearn for.  On the other, I know that my boss has very pie-in-the-sky ideas about the path that my job will take, some of which excite me.  Once hubby is working (and hopefully in something that makes him happy) and we’re (hopefully) able to start venturing out of the house, we may grow to love it here. Or not.  And of course, we’ve no idea what path our IF journey will take us down.  As usual, there are more questions than answers and only time to answer them.

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Responses

  1. I’m really pumped for your IUI this month! I hate homesickness with a passion, so I feel your pain.


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