Posted by: perchancetodream | August 21, 2008

Medicine Chest

Apologies for the lack of updates – particularly to those I know in real life who use this blog as a way to keep tabs on me – life has been a bit crazy of late with work and various freelance projects and such.  I always write these posts in my head and then never have time to commit them to paper but I’ll try to catch up here.

I finally managed to get in touch with a nurse at my clinic and, wouldn’t you know it, one of the cultures came back positive.  E Coli of all things. I did a little digging around and there have been studies done about the effects of E Coli on implantation and egg growth.  Interesting.  So now, in addition to the baby aspirin, the souped up folic acid/b12 supplement, and the prenatals, I’m on an antibiotic.  Hubby is equally thrilled to be adding another drug to his regime.  Sigh….I think I now take more meds than my 95 year-old grandmother and I’m not even in the midst of an active cycle!

As focused as I am these days on everything BUT ART, I seem to be surrounded by it.  An ex of mine wrote that he and his girlfriend just moved into a new apartment “with a room for a baby” even though they don’t have a baby.  The girlfriend is the same age as me and she miscarried the same time I did last year.

A very close friend from high school that I do a horrible job of keeping in touch with just wrote me ask pointedly asked if I’d given up on having kids (she never wanted them).  She made this assumption from my being 43 and not yet having any.  I haven’t responded because she deserves an honest reply and I haven’t had the time to actually clear my head enough to send one.

Yesterday’s news about R.ick.y Ma.rtin having twins with a surrogate really struck me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m thrilled for him and he obviously has enough money to support them.  Also, I’m really glad that we’ve gotten to a point where this sort of thing is news because he’s become a father but not due to HOW that happened.  I’m just jealous.

At the same time…..in about 2 weeks I suppose that I’m going to start an IUI cycle with the new clinic.  I’m nervous that it won’t work (that the lab will mangle the sperm or that the whole process will be as not NYU-like as it has been so far), and I’m nervous that it will as hubby is wrestling with a very slow summer job search in a hard market and in a city that doesn’t seem to  be as open-minded as NYC when it comes to skills and qualification.  We’re just holding it together financially by not trying to pay anything off, not going out, and just coasting. I’ve no idea what we’d do if there was a child to support at the same time.

But unless scientists come up with something new and innovative or we win the lottery really soon.  This is our last set of chances at this, so what else can we do?

Work is alternately really good – frustrating – annoying – entertaining.  So far, it is not boring.  I guess that’s something and as I’ve started to make some of the projects “mine”, I’ve enjoyed much of it.  It’s just what passes for “corporate culture” that’s getting to me.

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Responses

  1. Glad to hear that you’re okay!

  2. I still find pg announcements really hard and annoying. gand still hard to respond to friends. good luck with the cycle.


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