Posted by: perchancetodream | July 1, 2008

A Different Kind of “Wait”

We move today. It doesn’t feel bad, just surreal – like we’re going on a short vacation and will be home soon.

In truth, I begin my new job on Monday. We’ll spend the weekend unpacking and then I’ll head off to my still untitled (as far as I know) new position.

If I’m lucky I’ll have a few hours to sit on the deck and cry and try to deal with all of the emotions that keep threatening to overwhelm me but which I’ve been trying to keep at bay so that I can, at least somewhat, enjoy my last few days here.

I’ve mentioned before that my new office has a playroom for the owners’ 2 kids.  I’ve been really bracing myself for this.  It isn’t the kids faults (nor the owners) that I can’t seem to carry a pregnancy.  Doesn’t make it easy though. And today I receive an e-mail from my new company inviting me (and everyone else on their mailing list) to a performance by Mrs. Company Owner.  Oh…and their six year-old.

I must be out of my mind for putting myself through this.

I did get to speak to Dr. Celebrity yesterday.  Getting him on the phone is difficult but once he’s there I have to say that he is attentive and answers all the questions you can throw at him.

My main question: At almost 43 it is really worth trying to do another IVF? We went through my reaction to the meds (good), the number of eggs (good), the number going to blast (better than average for my age) and the quality of said blasts (again, better than most in my age group).

He said to go for it.

The caveat is that we can really only do this through the grant.  And the administrators of the grant know that we’re moving.  And we have to be resident here.  That’s the one bit that the doc couldn’t help with.  I’ve written a plea to the billing people and am now waiting.  If they say we can do it, I think we will sometime after hubby finds a job.

If they say no……I’ve no idea.

My new insurance covers nothing in terms of infertility.  Hubby’s probably won’t either but I’m praying I’m wrong. To pay $9K out of pocket for an IVF at a clinic with less success rates (although not horribly less) that my current clinic seems risky.

I’ve just written Dr. Celebrity to ask if he’d suggest or condone either: (1) unmonitored clomid cycles and/or (2) a couple more IUIs.  Even paying for them we could do a bunch before they’d equal one IVF and we’ve pretty much had the same success with both procedures.

If those aren’t an option, I guess I start researching the ins and outs of adoption to see if it might work for us.  Hubby is from the UK so maybe we can adopt from there?

The other…risky…probably stupid idea…..is to use my stash of follistim in an unmonitored cycle.  Anyone tried that?

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Responses

  1. so sorry about the dwindling numbers and hopes for this cycle.

    best of luck with the big move!

  2. am so sorry about the chemical. I just had one too and they just suck so badly.

    As for follistim unmonitored, I did it before IVF. I used a small dose 150 I think, and I used a trigger one time and one time not.

    Much love and luck.


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