Posted by: perchancetodream | June 20, 2008

Jumping the Gun

1dp5dt

As is common for those of us with multiple failed cycles, I try not to tempt fate. I don’t assume that I’m going to get pregnant, I make contingency plans, I’ve never bought an item of baby stuff.

But I’m at a strange place.  Because we’re moving on July 1, some things are screaming for me to deal with them.

1. My beta is June 28th.  IF that one is miraculously positive, my 2nd beta is June 30th.  But I won’t be here for the 3rd.  So I’ve written the 2 clinics in my new city (I think there are only 2 IVF clinics there) asking if I could pop in for the beta and if they would monitor me until I was released to an OB.

The clinic that seems to get the most accolades wrote me back and said “just go to an OB”.  Um…what?  I’m going to write back and reiterate that I’m 42 and had 4 embryos transferred….seems like an RE would be a better bet!

The other clinic has been immensely helpful so I might end up with them anyhow but yeeeshhhh….

What do you think?

2. The BIGGER issue is one that I’ve been trying (without success) to be in denial about. Any attempt to stay relaxed is completely thrown overboard when I start thinking about this one.  Money.  Most specifically health insurance.

If I’m not pregnant, the way is clear.  Hubby and I will get short-term insurance for the 2 months before my new insurance kicks in and he (hopefully) gets a job and his own insurance. TOTAL: somewhere about $150 a month for both of us.

If I AM pregnant, my plan was to do COBRA and keep my very good current insurance at a HUGE cost (almost $700 just for me) and get hubby temporary insurance.  Total: $800 a month.

As this is really only for 2 months, I hadn’t really questioned that plan.  Until this weekend.

Looking at my color-coded Excel-spreadsheet that is my budget, I can see that my vast pay-cut will put a slight dent in our eating out, and force us to pay off debt a bit slower etc….but we’ll be fine so long as hubby finds a job within 3-4 months.

Unless I’m pregnant.

Pregnant means a huge loss to COBRA and that hubby will be quiting his job to stay home with our much-desired child. So therefore pregnant means that debt will be managed but not really paid off; token amounts will go into savings but not enough to really add up to much. Pregnant means that we’ll have to move someplace cheaper than the lovely townhouse we’ve rented, once the lease is up. Pregnant might even mean that I have to leave the dream job we’re moving so that I can take unless they cough up a huge amount of money/commission or Mr. and Mrs. Company Owner offer to share their on-site Au Pair allowing hubby to continue working.

We all know that a million things can happen between then and now.  I might not get pregnant. We might not end up with a live baby at the end of it. We might pursue adoption which while expensive, will allow us to forge ahead paying off current debt and trying to save.  We might one more last ditch IVF next year before my grant runs out that will allow us to delay those costs for many more months.

But I want to be pregnant. I want to have a baby.  I want one of these little blasts (not forgetting the morula) to want to call my uterus home for a while.

I just don’t want to deal with all this other pressure.

If anyone knows of temporary insurance that covers prenatal though, please let me know at perchancetodream2 at gmail dot com.

In other, happier news, after feeling nothing last night and this morning, I’m feeling some delightful tightness and mild crampiness in my abdomen today.  I’m slightly burpy (which I never am except in the midst of a cycle). I’m hopeful. I’m relishing every twinge and ache. (Crazy what assisted reproduction does to you!).

Now I just need to win the lottery……

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Responses

  1. That’s hard–having so many differing possibilities.

    I hope these bubbles and twinges are signs of good things to come…

  2. Just wanted to wish you the best of luck on your upcoming beta!

  3. You have a lot going on. I would never say this to someone who was worried about never becoming PG or carrying a healthy baby to term, but when it comes to money, I have found the following to be true – it all works out in the end.

    So, if you can, try to let go of all your contingency planning, and focus on the moment. The wonderful excitement of what might be happening inside. I’m so excited by your transfer report and will have difficulty waiting these two weeks with you!

  4. Good luck this cycle. I hope things work out for you! nclm

  5. I am keeping everything crossed that your embabies are settling in for the long haul!!!

    I think COBRA’s probably your best bet. And I would definitely stick with an RE. 🙂

  6. wishing you all the best in your wait! at least you will have some good distractions.


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