Posted by: perchancetodream | June 6, 2008

First Step Down the Road

Cd #2

I’d hoped to spend some time last night in a combination of meditation/prayer/visualization to clear my head and remind myself that there is no reason (we know of) why this IVF won’t work; that I CAN get pregnant; that I DESERVE this chance.

And I probably got a few minutes to do that.  But in preparation for both our anniversary tonight and the joy of a much-liked but unexpected house-guest I basically ended up “doing stuff” instead.

And this morning on the way to the clinic, when I should have been listening to the gorgeous Te Deum that was going through my head anyhow, I was too into my book (about court life in the time of Henry VIII).

And so when I had my ultrasound with my very least favorite fellow who wields the ultrasound wand like a baseball bat and with about the same amount of gentleness, I was NOT surprised to see her measuring one freaking big cyst.

I held out hope though, thanks to an early morning coffee date with my friend peesticksandstones. And then the clinic called and my numbers weren’t half bad: FSH: 7.5.  Estogen: 34.  Okay, not quite as good as last month, but at 42, I’ll take 7.5 gladly.

And so tonight I begin with my mega-shot of 450ius of Follistim and then we go off to celebrate our anniversary.

I’m determined to be happy: about having this chance; about celebrating this important day in our relationship; about the potentials for my new job and our new living situation. I’m going to try not to dwell on the huge chunk of money I just paid for the IVF; my dire fear of the progesterone shots; the complications of a cross-country move.

To my dear hubby, least you get an unrealistic view of my intentions: I’m still going to feel the pain of the shots and of the loss of the things I so love here (job, apartment, friends, city….) and I’m still terrified that this won’t work.  But I’m going to try to focus on the good as well.

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Responses

  1. Good luck! Here’s to focusing on the positive! I will think good thoughts for you as well!

  2. I’m on day 3 of my Follistim injections. I’m adding you to my Google reader so I can follow your IVF cycle. Cycle sistas! Good luck!!! 🙂

  3. BTW . . . Added you to my blogroll too. Hope you don’t mind.

  4. Good Luck this cycle! Hope it works for you! NCLM

  5. I’m sending you the very best good luck wishes for this cycle!! And all the other things that are happening in your life at the moment!

    (NCLM)

  6. Hope it’s going great so far! And remember, you can always come to House of Peesticks if you need some help with your shots. Cookies and band-aids are on me!

  7. I hope you had a great anniversary, and that yuo find lots of ways to hope.
    NCLM


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