Posted by: perchancetodream | May 30, 2008

The Turn of the Wheel

10 dpiui

Sorry for being out of touch for so long, particularly during NCLM but thanks for all of the comments from new readers!

This past week has been a whirlwind.  One of those storms that stirs up the ground and leaves things in unfamiliar places.  The air feels fresher but different.  Things aren’t necessarily where you left them.

This past weekend we visited Nashville.  I signed a contract for my new job.  We signed a lease for an apartment. None of those were easy.

Hubby and I were at each other’s throats the whole trip. Mr. Company Owner was hours late to our planned meeting (apparently typical). Mrs. Company Owner, who had her children after 40 compliments of clomid, invited us to their daughter’s birthday party of the 4th of July should we already be there (um…..well sure, if this IUI turns out to be successful or next month’s IVF does than yes, I’d love to come.  If they fail, well the idea of spending a day with giddy children and cake sounds like my idea of hell.)

We rented a beautiful place that was very close to being double the amount we’d budgeted for rent and that is, in fact more than we’re paying in NY for less space.  But what space it has is beautiful – a HUGE backyard and deck, a fireplace, a new lovely clean kitchen with cabinets that aren’t falling down and I didn’t see a single roach the whole time we were there.  We have bird feeders and even one for squirrels.  I know that you in the midwest are probably laughing but I’d imagine that those from cities are sighing just about now as we did when we saw it (although that being said, the space is so different from our current place that I’ve no idea if any of our furniture will fit in an appropriate way – what the heck do you put into a 7ft bay window anyhow????).  The kicker was basically that no one would take our large, friendly golder retriever.  Note to anyone renting our their house/apartments: a dog’s size is not representative of the damage they might do.  Our 70lb golden will be nicer to your floors and lawn than a hyperactive peakaneese.  Just saying….

Today I had to give notice to my wonderful boss ON THE PHONE.  She’s dealing with a health crises and isn’t in the office.  Thankfully she was supportive and wonderful which only served to make me feel guiltier…..

I know this is all, ultimately, happy stuff.  But my heart is always in New York and I’m leaving behind a job I love, coworkers who have become family, friends that already are and an affinity for the city that keeps drawing me back.  Thankfully I think there might be some business trips that bring me back here.

And of course my IVF clinic. I’m currently at 10dpiui, hating the fact that I’m on progesterone and therefore can’t judge any symptoms on their own merit. Also, this is the first time I’ve ever used Ovidrel instead of pure HCG and my clinic gives double-doses (10,000) for some reason so I’ve no idea when it will really be out of my system.

If this cycle fails, we’re on to IVF #1 next month in the midst of moving.  If I manage to get pregnant it will definitely refute any stress/infertility connection.  At least for me.

I’m thinking ahead but trying not to.  Thinking about what to do if the IVF fails as the grant we’re covered under is good for a year but I would need to be seen at my NYC clinic. Thinking about the processes of adoption.

There is a lot to “wait and see” about.  That isn’t my strongest suit.  But I think I need to learn it soon. No one can ever say that my life is boring…..

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Responses

  1. congrats on the new gig and digs. I hate when landlords won’t take dogs, esp. based on their size. we used to say the same thing about the little dogs, and that there’d be less wear-n-tear than with a few kidlets running around…

  2. Renting sucks!… and then I bought a condo that didn’t allow dogs, which is how I ended up with 2 cats instead (1 now) but as soon as I moved again I got a dog. She’s a corgi which isn’t too large of a dog but she’s a bull. Seriously, I don’t think she has any concept of where her body is, she just mows things over.

    Hoping for a speedy conclusion to the TWW for you… and the best possible outcome.

  3. Wow, you have a lot on your plate! Hopefully things will quiet a bit once you’re all moved in. And here’s to the best possible news in four days!

    Visiting from NCLM

  4. nacomleavmo
    Yes that is a lot on your plate, I too am squeezing in a FET before moving cities and leaving my clinic behind. Hoping you won’t have to do the IVF, and good luck moving.

  5. Congratulations on all that you have accomplished – new job, new house, and fertility treatments too! Hope that everything goes well.

    Here from NaComLeavMo.

  6. NCLM, but like I said in my email, I will so be back here.

    I’m hoping that the TWW goes as smoothly as possible for you. When you’re stuck waiting, kids birthday parties are the absolute pits.

    *hugs*

  7. Hola! Thanks for stopping by & making me feel as if I’m not alone in my self-created madness 🙂

    Doesn’t moving and starting over suck? Especially when it’s hundreds of miles away? You seem to like the new place though & that is good. And no roaches is a wonderful thing.

    I will keep my fingers & toes crossed for your BFP…I’ll be checking back often. Take care 🙂

  8. You are doing great! Good luck girl and keep your head up!

    (here from nclm)

  9. Here from NCLM. Wishing you the best of luck with your current cycle. I know how much it sucks for TTC not to be working, and to have no explanation, and to keep losing child after child. It’s tough. I hope you manage to sail through your moving and settling and adjusting to new work and living space. And I hope you are soon looking at two strong lines!

  10. I hope you enjoy your new home! I can’t stand yippy little dogs, give me a full-size puppy any day!

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