Posted by: perchancetodream | May 3, 2008

Things Not to Discuss at a Job Interview

Religion? Check

Personal debt? Check

Infertility? Check

Yup! We covered them all. And still it went well (at least I think it did).

The company is owned by a couple who are both musicians and businesspeople. The office is in an old house, the type with doors that open onto rooms that don’t seem like they should be there.  I almost needed to leave trail of breadcrumbs.

I was picked up by my one contact there and it was great to start the day with an already-friendly face. Of course, the first thing I see upon entering the house is that it is decorated in the artwork of the owners’ 6 -year-old daughter.  She and her much younger brother were present and accounted for during the interview.  There was even a playroom in the office for them.

I have to admit that a part of me loved that.  A part of me was jealous that they’ve found a way to do what they love and, with the help of an au pair, have a family. A part of me was appalled though at the thought of getting to the point where we have to give up our dreams of having a child and yet having to walk into this virtual nursery school every day.

The interview itself was otherwise, pretty much what I’d expected.  We talked about the industry, people we both know, gossip, marketing, work-styles, etc. We’d already covered religion on the phone (the company is located in the heart of the bible belt and as I work for a Jewish organization, Mr. Company Owner probably thought he had to bring it up. It isn’t a huge deal for me but there IS a Jewish community there and, in fact, Mrs. Company Owner is Jewish herself.) and money (before we figured out how to cover the $700 plane ticket, I wanted to make sure that we were in the same ballpark.  That has yet to be seen – Their original thought of payment is about 1/2 my salary and there is no way I’m in a position to take that kind of cut.  The figures we last talked about are in the range of “We could do it if we never, ever, left the house”.  My hope was that meeting me in person would convince them that I was the only one in the world they could get with the mix of skills they’re looking for and they’d offer me something I could live on.)

When the topic of timing came up, I felt like I had to bring up our current fertility efforts.  My contact at the company knows what I’m going though and had suggested that Mr. and Mrs. Company Owner would be sympathetic.  Knowing that the Mrs. is 45 and has an 18-month old, I was guessing that they’d gone through it themselves.  Turns out she got pregnant on clomid (not sure if there was any ART involved). We actually laughed about this being the strangest job interview any of us had experienced.

I mentioned the stalled NYS grant, the IUI we have scheduled next cycle is this natural cycle doesn’t work.  I talked about how my RE often has people come in from out of town for IVF and my incredibly generous friend who has offered me a place to crash if I come back for it. Her only concern seemed to be whether I was worried that the travel might negatively impact the outcome.  She also said that she’d give me the names of her doctors.

After about 4 hours of talking in the office, we packed up the kids and went for an hour drive around so that I could see the various neighborhoods.  I fell in love with one that I think my husband would also love.  Reasonable walking distance from the office (or a 5 minute drive), tree-lined streets near a park, college campus and a 3-block stretch of lovely restaurants, shops and bars with sidewalk seating.  Whether we could swing the rent has yet to be seen.

Then we went to dinner. Because the kids were with us (and understandably tired by 8pm), we opted for a local southern place that is a bit of an institution and that had wonderful (if completely unhealthy) southern comfort food: fried apples, mac and cheese, chicken fried pork chops with gravy.  YUM!!!  Through this whole time Mr. Owner and I were continuing some semblance of an interview while Mrs. Owner was trying to keep the kids entertained. Funny how we always revert to those sex roles – She’s a very well-known musician with a very prestigious degree but her focus was on spooning mashed potatoes into the little one.  Ah well.

Anyhow, I finally got back to the hotel, called hubby and crashed. They’d booked me a morning flight on Friday so I didn’t have much time to do more than meet up with my company friend who took me on yet another tour and deposited me at the airport.

Mr. and Mrs Owner are performing on Monday but I’m meant to call them on Tuesday if I haven’t heard anything. In the meantime, Dr. Celebrity managed to answer a 2-page letter to me with an e-mail that ignored most of my questions, addressing the one issues I actually had a handle on, so I’m now meant to call him on Monday.

It’s gonna be a hell of a week.

Oh, did I mention that I came home to find an e-mail in response to a resume I sent out months ago for a writing job in the midwest?  I’m going to claim a camping vacation with no e-mail access and call him on Tuesday.  My mind is a little too full at the moment to fit that one in as well.

So my #1 hope at this point is that Mr. and Mrs. were so wowed by my skills and demeanor that they cough up more than they could have ever imagined paying for this spot.

Barring that….they offer us something livable, we get pregnant before I leave and hubby is able to find some sort of work-from-home job OR he gets comfortable with the idea of daycare at least part time so that he can bring some money in.

In a perfect world, MR. and Mrs. call me and say they want me enough to wait until January to bring me in so that I can resolve this round of fertility treatments and pay off my debt.  I’m not holding my breath.

In other news….I’m having post-ovulation cramps for the first time in my life.  I mean, it’s almost a week later and this feels quite like I did after my first medicated IUI.  I’m not getting wrapped up in that though (really!!!), pinning it instead on my new acupuncture regime, herbals and general stress.  Right?  I can’t imagine what getting pregnant naturally would feel like anyhow.



  1. wow, what a crazy interview! wishing you a few steps closer to your perfect world. ~luna

  2. Sounds like you had a GREAT trip. I can’t wait to hear how this all turns out.

  3. I also think it sounds like you had a GREAT interview. Alot in common. Some Socializing.

    I always do well in those OFF BEAT type interviews. I virtually got hired over the phone with the job I’m at after discovering the position online at 3 am. I believe we came here and interviewed on Wednesday or Thursday and spent the next week moving and settling in. Later she told me we just felt right. I ( believe it or NOT) was Godsend according to my Lady Boss. We were very fortunate to find this.

    And because of our quick response, ended up with the better of two properties to manage..

    Anyway, it does sound that you impressed them and I hope it works out the way you want (need) it to. Glad it went well! As it seems it did.

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