Posted by: perchancetodream | January 16, 2008

Lurking

I realize that I’ve turned into a lurker as of late. I’ve read all of your blogs, I’ve formulated comforting/congratulatory/hopefully-helpful responses and then….well, I’ve got distracted by work, the dog, my new Facebook account that allows me to do fun and mindless things like throw sheep at my husband, and I haven’t written. To all, particularly those who have commented and send words of support to my site – Thank you and I’m truly sorry and will try to be better. Really! 🙂

So the state of the union is: well, I’m in on Friday for what I hope will be the last blood draw before my new cycle starts. Praying for zero so that I can start praying for high numbers again!

We also received the report from the D&C and it was abnormal – trisomy 22. I am at once relieved and saddened. I know that this is easier for me; that I have “something to blame” and that I would not be adept at raising a child with the disabilities caused by the chromosomal abnormality. But I am sad as well that it didn’t work out, that the life we created had to struggle so hard for it’s short time…..

I am, in so many ways, in limbo. Waiting for this cycle to begin, waiting for some freelance work to come my way, waiting for our new cycle to begin at work (we work in 2-year spans with volunteer leadership), waiting for spring, waiting to have a plan to move to the Midwest, waiting for our bills to be paid off…..waiting……

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Responses

  1. HugS, I do so understand!
    God bless you tho. Your thoughts brought tears to my eyes. BTW, my name is Sherry, and I’m 47 today/

  2. I’m glad there’s an answer, glad that you’ll be able to try again soon.

  3. The waiting is hard hard hard. I hope you get through that part easily…

    PS–lurk all you want. we all get it.


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