Posted by: perchancetodream | November 27, 2007

Land of Confusion

Thanks to all who have posted and sent notes of prayers and good wishes.  And thanks to Oro for linking to yesterday’s post. Oro, in answer to your question about waiting a full week (presumably you meant past next Monday’s scheduled ultrasound?) here’s the problem.

On the 9th I fly to California to staff a convention for work where I will be until the 19th.  We have 4 department heads (myself included) and my boss and a couple of admin people to manage programming for 800 women.  Plus, our meeting planner will be having a c-section on the 6th so I’m taking over all the audio-visual.  My fear is that if I do decide to wait, to see what course nature takes, that I will spend 2 days of the convention alone in a hotel room miscarrying.

So honestly, I don’t know what to do.  What has my husband and I most stumped is that the doctor on Friday (6w1d) seemed totally positive and told me not to worry about the heartbeat because it was still early. MY doctor on Monday (6w4d), one of the top 10 in NYC, etc., etc., was totally gloom and doom.  I realize that things change fast at this stage of development but to go from “don’t worry” to “I don’t think this is likely” in 3 days???? Either there is information we’re not being given or……or what?  I’m not really sure.

I’ve called my OB-GYN (even though he isn’t on our insurance plan) to discuss getting a second opinion.  But of course he’s on vacation and won’t be back until Thursday and not in the office until Friday. But I’ll try to speak to him somehow and maybe even talk him into a scan before I have to make some final decision. (Hey, if anyone knows of a great gyn in Manhattan who takes AETNA – PLEASE get in touch!!!).

In the meantime, I bounce between completely despondent and hopeful about every 10 seconds. It doesn’t help that I’m quite sore today – not crampy but the muscles in my sides feel quite tender. But mostly it’s my heart that is hurting.  And my head while I try to wrap my thoughts around all of this.

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Responses

  1. “In the meantime, I bounce between completely despondent and hopeful about every 10 seconds. ” I do so relate.

  2. Ah, I see. Hell of a choice to make. What I am not recommending, but am suggesting, is that if you can’t get in contact with anyone willing to give you a scan, you could have some, uh, unexplained bleeding and y’know, need to go to the ER to see what’s happening.

    I’m just sayin’.

    No matter what, I’m wishing you and the little one the best.


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