Posted by: perchancetodream | November 16, 2007

Crunching Numbers

I’d say about half of my friends have children.  Some of my friends are younger and may go on to yet, some are my age or older and have decided not to or are on the cusp of deciding one way or another.  Of my friends with children: 3 have successfully used assisted reproduction of some sort, 2 have had early miscarriages, 1 has had a late term “miscarriage” (pre-mature labor that wasn’t stopped due to suspected chromosomal issues), 1 has had to reduce in order to save her twins.  None of my friends who want them have been unable to have children and none have adopted (although two ARE adopted).

I guess I’d pretty much assume that those numbers are a fair cross-section for any group. But reading all the blogs, I’m shocked (and terrified) by the number of early miscarriages reported. I realized that, as infertiles, we’ve got an uphill road and we’re pumping our bodies full of crazy hormones and medication; we’ve had illnesses and scarring and structural issues and male factors. We’re aware of being pregnant well before most people even notice that their period is late. We’re more in tune with our bodies than the average person and pour (literally) blood, sweat, tears and often huge sums of money into becoming parents.

And perhaps because we’ve chosen to become part of the blogging community, we’re more open about things when they go wrong.  But at 42, pregnant for the first time, I have to say that I was blissfully ignorant about everything that could go wrong. And I miss that.


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