Posted by: perchancetodream | September 25, 2007

All Roads Lead To…

My paternal grandfather moved to the US from Russia when he was 15. He came with his younger brother and his parents. His parents died within 2 years of their move. As far as I know, he didn’t have any type of schooling once he got here.

Yet he ran his own business and paid for everything in cash: his store, his house, his card. I wonder if anyone still does that? He always saw the US as the land of opportunity and from him I learned that anything is possible if you work hard enough.

Only it isn’t true. There are some things that can’t be organized into shape or learned with enough effort. Some things are out of reach and there is nothing we can do about it.

Today I met with Dr. Celebrity. I liked him, although he wasn’t as warm as his website led me to think, and I liked the practice which is more than a step up from the one I’ve been going to.

I didn’t like his prognosis although I appreciated the direct way he delivered it. This was no overly-perky doctor saying “it just takes one sperm and one egg to make a baby”. He laid out the challenges of our situation and the very low success rates.

Although the existing plan with Dr. Perky had been to pursue 2 more rounds of IUI (one with a higher dose of clomid and one with injectibles), Dr. Celebrity said that he isn’t sure that IUIs are even worth it for us – assuming that the test results are what we think they are.

We can go straight to IVF at the beginning of 2008. In the meantime, should Dr. Celebrity choose not to pursue IUI, we can always do it with Dr. Perky. The insurance will happily cover that (until the end of time) but won’t help with IVF which is what we really need.

I’m scared of IVF though. Not because of the shots (and I am the biggest pain wimp I know) and the welts and the needles and the hormones and mood swings, but because if it fails, that will be it. Forever. The end. And I’m not much for final endings and I’m not looking forward to letting go of these new-found hopes and putting all my efforts into moving and adoption. I will if I have to. And I probably won’t fail at those. But sometimes, not failing, isn’t the same as succeeding.

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Responses

  1. so you’ve got either more rounds of IUI or 1 round of IVF?

    That’s tough…have you given any thoughts about overseas IVF, like South Africa or Poland? I know the dollar ain’t great, but it might be substantially cheaper even with IVF…

  2. I really haven’t. I lived in the UK for a while and wasn’t blown away with nationalized medical care. I can’t imagine going into the eastern block. At this point, I think I have to resign myself that I’m at one of the top clinics in the country. If it doesn’t work, then at least I won’t have any regrets about having tried.

    By the way, I’m married to a Scot too! And I loved your post about Gaelic names. I hope we get to the point to have to sort that one out! 🙂

  3. Hi, I know what you mean about IVF being the final try. I’ve done 5 IUIs and now perhaps it is time to consider IVF. In addition to being expensive, it seems like the final effort before giving up. I can’t imagine doing (and paying for) multiple IVF cycles. My insurance company also continues to pay for IUIs though I am starting to think that they won’t ever work. I am 41. My parts look good for my age, that’s what they say, but I also suspect that nary an egg is good. And if the eggs arent’ good, IVF won’t work either. The only positive about IVF is that we would have more information – like knowing that all the eggs were bad and we could move on to other options such as adoption. I am not sure I am ready to move on.

    It sounds like you are in good hands. Sorry about the cyst – that is my problem, too. I’ve only been able to do my cycles every other month as I wait for the cyst to go away. Gives me a break from shots, etc, but also makes me lose a month when time is not on my side.

    good luck to you.

  4. Just read through your blog and wow – our stories sound similar. I thought I had time too. My doctors haven’t gone as far as to say “old eggs” though, in fact I can’t get anyone to talk about “quality”. I just know that the reserve quantity is good.

    I’m interested to read more about your research into donor eggs. I never ever thought I’d consider that but I’m starting to as well…..


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