Replay
November 30, 2008 at 6:03 pm (Infertility, infertile, iui, ttc, two week wait, tww) (infertile, Infertility, iui, trying to conceive, ttc, two week wait, tww)
9dpiui
9 days seems to be the turning point in my cycles. It was the first strong positive I got last October and the time, in more recent cycles where my symptoms receed and bold lines fade.
That’s where we are again. The cramps, nausea, gas, fullness and tenderness have all lessened (even since yesterday). The POAS line has become one of the faint “only at the right angle/in the right light ones.
My beta isn’t until Friday but I’m pretty sure this cycle is over. 14 follicles and we can’t even get one to stick.
Tomorrow I’m calling the clinic to find out if they’re open the week of Christmas. If we’re able to do another round next cycle, the IUI would be sometime around December 21st. If they’re closed, I’m going to talk to hubby about doing a “tons of repronex/monitoring/trigger and timed intercourse” cycle. It’s better than losing the whole month.
Although sometimes I wonder why we’re bothering. My body doesn’t seem to want to create life.
Numbers
November 29, 2008 at 3:36 pm (Infertility, infertile, iui, ttc, two week wait, tww) (infertile, Infertility, iui, pregnancy test, progesterone, trying to conceive, ttc, two week wait, tww)
8dpiui
I’ve thought long and hard about not updating my blog until next Friday, the day of the beta. For some reason, it’s very hard for me to deal with well-meaning friends and family this cycle who are overly-invested in our success/failure. With everything else going on (finances and the timing of everything which may make the planned next cycles iffy) I really need to just stay on an even keel and not think too much.
But on the off-chance that someone in the IF community has some insight on progesterone numbers (why is Google just failing me this cycle?), I figured I’d give this a go.
So the nurse called on Wednesday (5dpiui) with my progesterone number. She said that my level was “3″, “8″, “2″. I thought she meant 382 but when I googled, everyone had numbers like 24.6 so it was probably 38.2. I asked her what it was meant to be and she said “around “3″, “8″, “2″”. Then I read somewhere that every 20 points represents a released egg. I don’t even want to do that math.
For some odd reason, my clinic also tests HCG at the same time. I’m not really sure why. Anyhow, the nurse had said that she usually doesn’t even tell people that they run the test but I think I’ve reached “veteran” status and she and I have a rapport so she shared that info. On 5piui, my HCG was 14. Normally, with the usual 10,000 units of HCG to trigger, I’d totally ignore that. But this time, they only gave me 2,500 in hopes that they wouldn’t overstimulate me. (Doing THAT math, it should have been out of my system by last Saturday or Sunday).
I confess that I broke down and tested yesterday and got a quick and distinct line. But who the heck tests positive 7 days past their IUI? I’ve got a history of getting positives that fade into nothing come beta-day.
Anyhow, but like I said, I’m REALLY not thinking about this (REALLY!) yet. And if I know you and you aren’t hubby or someone in the IF community, we don’t need to discuss it at this point.
Off to eat more turkey, I think……
Happy Pre-Thanksgiving
November 26, 2008 at 2:47 pm (Infertility, infertile, iui, miscarriage, pregnancy, ttc, two week wait, tww) (Infertility, iui, trying to conceive, ttc, two week wait, tww)
5dpiui
I can’t help but compare this year to last year. Last year, I was pregnant for the first time – about 6 weeks on Thanksgiving. I was in a lot of pain so we went to the clinic the next day and the doctor said she thought we were carrying triplets. Two days later my doctor said no, just one but was dismayed not to see a heartbeat. We later did see one but the pregnacy ended at 10 weeks.
This year, as I wait for my new clinic to call with the results of my progesterone bloodtest, I find that I’m amazed at home much time has flown. We’ve moved states and jobs, made new friends, laughed and cried. But it seems like no time has passed and nothing has really happened.
I’m quite blissfully detatched from this current TWW actually. I have no real urge to buy tests. I’m having the usual progesterone-induced symptoms and have had a bit of cramping since the IUI but I’m not obsessively googling them to see if they might just mean something.
I’m not sure if all of this is down to the small odds of this working or to my utter fear of how we’d actually sort out the finances of having a child. Probably the former. I’m tired of the highs and lows (not something I usally shy away from) and find myself getting slightly irritated with people asking me how I’m doing.
I even saw Dr. Ambitious in the hall this morning and when he asked, I replied “fine” and he just stood there, waiting for me to say something profound and telling; wanting more. So I said “a bit twingy but fine” and just stared back. That was all he was getting from me.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this any less than I ever have. And if we get to the end of January without a positive outcome i’m sure that a minor/major breakdown is inevitable. But I feel like it’s all out of my hands at this point – I’m not exercising or drinking, I’m taking my meds when I’m meant to but other than that, time will only tell.
Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving however you celebrate it!
Jumbled
November 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm (Infertility, infertile, iui, ttc, two week wait, tww) (infertile, Infertility, iui, progesterone, trying to conceive, ttc, two week wait, tww)
1dpiui
IUI #……..yeesh….is done.
I have to say that Dr. Ambitious performed the fastest, least painful one I’ve had. I’m sure I’ll make up for it now that the sperm are co-mingling with the 10-14 follicles that are waiting to fill their dance cards.
Actually I am starting to cramp up which, while MUCH better than feeling nothing at all, is making me hyper vigilant for signs of over-stimulation. And wondering a bit what the infection that hubby’s sample showed (they were able to clean out the “round” sperm) is. Why can’t we get rid of these damned infections and what is causing them? Sigh….as if we needed another strike against us.
Tonight starts delestrogen shots. Honestly, not even sure what it is but we add progesterone to it tomorrow. Oh joy.
Aside from all the physical stuff and the fact that I can’t drink, I’d hoped to rather ignore the fact that we’d just done an IUI. I mean, the odds are SOOOOO slim that anything will work at this point and I just don’t want to get my hopes up. But the few people in my office who know are making this impossible. Yesterday two co-workers came to my house with lunch and flowers. When I said “You know, this is IUI #9 or something it really isn’t that big of a deal” one replied “But it’s OUR first one!”. Okay, I was grateful and touched but now I have an audience to my potential failure. Great….
To take my mind off things we all treked to see Twilight last night. I won’t provide any spoilers except to say that the first third of the movie SUCKED (and not in a gorgeous vampire-like way). The last 2 thirds were pretty good. I liked the casting a lot but the script and direction really irked me. Why couldn’t they take a page from Harry Potter’s book – those movies manage to capture all the really important parts of the books but this…..so much info was left out that I can’t imagine that anyone who goes in without reading the books really have a clue.
I’ve spent today in a tizzy about that and my overly-ambitious Thanksgiving dinner. As it’s just Hubby and me and the animals, you think I’d keep it simple but….I love holidays. I’m a total junky. I can’t imagine not doing them “right”.
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and…
November 20, 2008 at 3:32 pm (Infertility, infertile, iui, ttc) (FSP, infertile, Infertility, iui, trying to conceive, ttc)
CD11
Trigged this morning. FINALLY.
We’re still at 14 follicles and it looks like a solid 12 will be mature tomorrow for our Mega IUI. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but Dr. Ambitious was really hoping to do a FSP (fallopian tube sperm perfusion) but neither of my insurances cover it.
It is very odd because, whatever we’ve been through so far, I’ve been able to find someone else on the internet who has been through the same thing. Until now. I literally can’t find information on anyone else who has done and IUI with this many follicles. Hmmmm….
It’s odd to feel the HCG side effects again. They’re both like old friends I haven’t seen in a long time and harbingers of memories I’ve tried to get some distance from.
Last Thanksgiving, for instance, I was having horrible sharp pains. The next day we went for an ultrasound to discover that I had a huge cycle and the very over optimistic doctor on call (not mine) thought we were having triplets. Of course it was all downhill from here.
I told the nurse this morning that I think I can handle a BFN on this cycle but I REALLY don’t want a chemical or cyst that takes the next 2 months out of play. I need this to work or fail. We’ve had enough of near misses.
