PerchanceToDream

…before I leave town (yipes!).

Thanks to all who have commented and please keep doing so!!! I need all the ideas I can get at this point.

First off, I just received notice that the New York State Infertility grant IS on for this year. My contact at my clinic said that there are some contractual changes though that the doctors are meeting about on Monday and then she’ll get back to me, so we’ll see.

Should that all happen AND I get and take this new job….well, let’s just say that scheduling is going to be a real nightmare. But then again…I do tend to have everything happen all at once!

As far as your comments go:

preconceivednotions: Thanks for that link to CCIVF. I’m not in NJ but I am in NY (at least for the moment!). I’ve written them to get some more info.

Heidi: Yup - the COBRA thing would make perfect sense IF my insurance covered IVF. But it doesn’t. Just the meds. It covers unlimited IUIs which is what I’ve been coasting on but that won’t help going forward. I just can’t see moving and, at 43, doing that month after month at a cost that we can’t sustain.

Em: I’ve looked into INCIID - the only problem is that I’m almost 43 and I don’t know if I could wait the year or so that they estimate it could take.  But it’s been in the back of my mind to try anyhow….

“From your mouth to God’s ears….”

Here is your forecast for Leo - Wednesday, April 30 2008

The trouble with being determined to make something happen by hook or by crook is that this can prevent you from recognising a much easier way to attain your objective. Like a boxer who has been in training for a big fight you’re psyched up for a showdown. What you don’t know is that your terrifying challenger has a weak jaw and a wobbly knee. All you have to do is land one little punch in the right place. Forget your notion of some enormous struggle. Victory is going to be quicker than you imagine.

So it’s CD17 of this “off” cycle - although it’s not completely off as I’ve been doing acupuncture, chinese herbals (including the most heinous tasting “tea” imaginable) and we’ve been trying hard to time things correctly.

And on Thursday I’m off to meet with the powers that be about the dream job that is beginning to look much less dreamy. Don’t get me wrong- the JOB still looks amazing, the chance to move someplace Hubby might like still sounds like an opportunity from heaven.

HOWEVER….have crunched the numbers of the upper salary range that they’re considering (there is nothing on paper at this point), it’s looking like a struggle (basically I’d be losing 1/3 of my current salary). One that we could potentially deal with by paying off our debt slower and not actually saving anything but a struggle none-the-less depending on the actual figure and what type of job hubby managed to get.

Here’s the clincher. Their insurance (Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Tennessee) doesn’t seem to cover infertility. I haven’t seen their specific plan but I’ve asked a friend there to look at is and she didn’t see anything mentioned. BC/BS’s TN website doesn’t list infertility at all, even as a rider option.

As a last-ditch effort, I wrote my current HR people to see what COBRA (keeping my current insurance) would cost. $681/month is the answer to that one. Or basically about the same that a 2 BR apartment would cost us.

And so dear readers, I turn to you. Is there any way, short of putting another $20K on credit cards that you know of to fund infertility treatments. Any self-insurance? Any programs (keeping in mind that I’m 42) that can somehow turn this potentially bleak situation into something workable?

Please leave a comment or e-mail me at perchancetodream2 at gmail dot com.

THANKS!

I’m taking Luna’s suggestion on this one and taking a minute break from worrying about the direction on my future for a little photo essay. Feel free to play along.

My name is:

(Perchance to dream)

My relationship status:

(Married for love)

My Favorite Color:

(royal blue)

My Celebrity Crush (hmm….hard to narrow this one down):

(Bono)

(Rupert Everett)

(Jonathan Rhys Meyers)

My Favorite Princess:

(Grace Kelley)

My favorite adult beverage:

(dirty martini)

Dream Vacation:

(around the world tour)

When I grow up, I want to be:

(content)

Your turn!

Thanks for all of the comments, emails, and good wishes for this job situation.  After a lot of back-and-forth calls, some frank discussions, and some negotiations, I’m going down (and over) there next Thursday to meet with the powers that be.

Since last writing, I’ve learned that taking the job will involve quite a sizable paycut, but that it is in a state without state and local taxes. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much we were paying in state tax until I ran the hypothetical salary through a calculator and saw that the end amount wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared.  That’s the good bit and now I’m getting excited about going down there and potentially changing my life next week.

I’ve also learned that the job is in a state with no mandated infertility insurance.  Of course.

So…should I not get pregnant this natural cycle, or with the next IUI AND get the job AND we decide that its the right place for us to live AND their insurance doesn’t cover any infertility treatments, my options seem to be:

• Coming back to my current clinic (assuming the insurance offered is an insurance the clinic accepts) for the round(s) of IVF and paying full price.
• Coming back to my current clinic and somehow being able to use the state grant
• Going to a clinic with a horrible success rate there and paying full price.
• Turn down the job, stay here and pray that IVF works
• Forget the whole thing and begin looking into adoption without ever trying IVF.

You know, I’m just not loving those options……

I hoping that some currently hidden brainstorm rears it’s head. Or that we win the lottery.